Celebrities Protest Something

An important group of Hollywood celebrities,
which no doubt included famous actors,
actresses and rap stars, has voiced their concern
about something “really important to us as a
people.”
Saying “this is a defining issue of our time,” the
celebrities were adamant that “something must
be done.” They were also clear that whatever
needs to be done must be done “now, not
tomorrow, when it could be too late.” One of
the rap stars added “Too late, ya’ll” for
emphasis.

When asked to describe what they were so
concerned about, none of those assembled
could explain it. “It may have something to do
with the Middle East,” said one. “Or possibly
Africa,” claimed another. “But in the end, why
does that even matter? What matters is that the
time for action is now.” One of the rap stars
added “Now, ya’ll.”
“The location where this terrible tragedy is going
down is kinda important though,” suggested the
group’s leader, “so we can go there and have
our photos taken with the kids wherever they
are and then adopt one or two of them. Hey,
how does this grimace look to you? Too tight?
Should I pull it back a bit? God I hope they have
a Starbucks wherever this thing is going down.”

“Also,” said one, “what color rubber wrist bands
are for this important cause? I have a yellow
ribbon on my BMW– are we still doing that too?”

Several of the celebrities appeared even further
confused, explaining their publicists told them to
be ready at 9:30 to be driven to hold this press
conference. “Honestly, I was under the
impression this was going to be a shoot for a
commercial. I mean, I starved myself for three
days to look good in a bathing suit for what,
this?” The male celebrities, all told to arrive with
two days of beard stubble, did not make similar
comments.

The only famous person present who was willing
to actually put his name to this mess was
Russell Brand. Interviewed from The Situation
Room by Wolf Blitzer, himself trapped there on
Day Six of his hunger strike demanding someone
return his credibility, Brand agreed that despite
not knowing himself why people think he is a
celebrity, it was important to “give back” and
“take a stand.”
Brand: “Like, once long ago we had that ‘We are
the World’ thing, and like everybody got to meet
Michael Jackson, so I thought, why not get
involved, maybe Bono will be here or whatevers.

Actually sort of hoping to run into someone who
could help me find paid work to be honest, but
sure, I’d settle for a snuggle with Penelope Cruz
mate.” Brand then winked conspiratorially and
licked this reporter’s face.
As camera crews packed up their gear, a rumor
of something else of concern swept through the
crowd as they climbed into their waiting limos.

Source.: latest.com